Politics On The Pitch #11 – An Anglicised Europe (Part 1)

POTP is the home of alternative football nostalgia, but in this case we’ve got an alternative European present. Click here for all previous installments of Politics on the Pitch.

Intro

The year is an alternative 2021. Amid the confusion of the COVID 19 pandemic, the United Kingdom has somehow seized power in all of Europe, ironically bringing the continent together again after Brexit. The first order of business is to do what the British did in Ireland centuries ago and eliminate native languages in the new occupied territories, with strict enforcement across all forms of life.

In football, this means leagues and team names are translated into English as best as possible with immidiate effect, including placenames where applicable and/or the dropping of accent symbols. For our first breakdown of this dystopian present, we’re focusing on five of the top leagues besides England as they are in 2020/21, plus their second and third tiers.

Overview

While the likes of Athletic Club in Bilboa and Genoa Cricket and Football Club remain unscathed, many of Europe’s biggest clubs are suddenly forced to rebrand mid-season. The reigning French champions are now known as PSJ, with enemies such as Olympic of Marseille and Lyon Olympic. The most common new theme down in Spain is of course “Royal”, with the likes of Royal Madrid FC, Royal Society of Football, and Royal Club Celtic of Vigo. A famous institition in Catalonia becomes BFC, while the Royal Spanish Sports Club of Barcelona is across town.

In the Netherlands, Ajax finally officially become Ajax Amsterdam FC, with their great rivals PSA in Eindhoven, North Fey Rotterdam, and Everything Through Practice The Hague. Another inspirational mouthful is to be found in the third tier with Always Get Stronger Football Club Hendrik-Ido-Ambacht. Italy’s traditionally dominat sides are now known as Youth FC, International Milan and Milan FA, with other famous names replaced by the likes of Florence Football Association and Rome Sports Association.

Germany is home to some of the longest club names in any language, as demonstraed by Prussia Association for Physical Exercise 1900 R.A. Monchengladbach. Another “Prussia” is of course Prussia Dortmund, looking to catch up to the success of Bavaria Munich. Some German clubs even emcompass more than just football, with the likes of Gymnastics and Sports Community 1899 Hoffenheim or Jahn Regencastle Sport and Swimming Club. The same club title can also be interpreted in different ways, as demostarted by Onetrack Frankfurt and Braunschweig United.

We’ll now go through each of these five formerly-independent countries, with their freshly-imposed British Fucked-Up Flags, and list their new leagues and how the names have changed below. Note that for extra titles denoting public limited companies and the like, eg: “e.V” in Germany and “S.A.D” in Spain, we’ve included one or two exmaples where relevant but left most out for brevity.

***

France

League One

Angers Sporting Club de l’Ouest – Angers Sporting Club of the West

FC des Girondins de Bordeaux –

Stade Brestois 29 – Brest Stadium 29

Dijon Football Côte d’Or – Dijon Football Golden Coast

Racing Club de Lens – Racing Club from Lens

Lille Olympique Sporting Club – Lille Olympic Sporting Club

Football Club Lorient-Bretagne Sud – Lorient-South Brittany Football Club

Olympique Lyonnais – Lyon Olympic

Olympique de Marseille – Olympic from Marseille

Football Club de Metz – Football Club from Metz

Association Sportive de Monaco Football Club SA – Athletic Association of Monaco Football Club (Anonymous Society)

Football Club de Nantes Atlantique – Nante Atlantic Football Club

Olympique Gymnaste Club Nice Côte d’Azur – Olympic Gymnast Club Nice Blue Coast

Nîmes Olympique – Nimes Olympic

Paris Saint-Germain Football Club – Paris Saint Jermain Football Club

Stade de Reims – Stadium of Reims

Stade Rennais Football Club – Rennes Stadium Football Club

Association Sportive de Saint-Étienne Loire – Sports Association from Saint Etienne Loire

Racing Club de Strasbourg Alsace – Racing Club from Strasbourg Alsace

*

League Two

Athletic Club Ajaccien – Athletic Club Ajeccio

Association de la Jeunesse Auxerroise – Association of the Auxerrese Youth

Stade Malherbe Caen – Malherbe Stadium Caen

La Berrichonne de Châteauroux – The Berry of Gingercastle

Clermont Foot 63 – Keymountain Football 63

Union Sportive du Littoral de Dunkerque – Sports Union of the Dunkirk Coast

Grenoble Foot 38 – Grenoble Football 38

En Avant Guingamp – Forward Guingamp

Le Havre Athletic Club – The Harbour Athletic Club

Association Sportive Nancy-Lorraine – Nancy-Lorraine Sports Association

Chamois Niortais Football Club – Goat-Antelopes Niort Football Club

Espérance Sportive Troyes Aube Champagne – Hope Athletic Troyes-Aube-Champagne

*

National Championship

L’Union Sportive Avranches Mont Saint Michel – The Sports Union Avranches-Mount Saint Michael

Sporting Club Bastiais – Bastia Sporting Club

Union Sportive de Boulogne-sur-Mer Côte d’Opale – Athletic Union of Boulogne-On-Sea Opal Coast

Stade Olympique Choletais – Olympic Stadium Cholet

Union Sportive Concarnoise – Sports Union Concarneau

Union Sportive Créteil-Lusitanos – Creteil-Lusitanos Sports Union

Stade Lavallois Mayenne Football Club – Laval Stadium Mayenne Football Club

Le Mans Football Club – The Mans Football Club

Sporting Club de Lyon – Sporting Club of Lyon

Union Sportive Orléans Loiret Football – Sports Union Orleans Loiret Football

Union Sportive Quevillaise-Rouen Métropole – Quevilly-Rouen Metropolitan Sports Union

Stade Briochin – Briochin Stadium

Football Club de Sète 3 – Sete 3 Football Club

Football Club Villefranche-Beaujolais – Franchisetown-Beautifulhill Football Club

***

Germany

Federal League

Deutscher Sportclub Arminia BielefeldArminius Bielefeld German Sports Club

Fußball-Club Augsburg 1907 – Augsburg Football Club 1907

Bayer 04 Leverkusen Fußball Gmbh – Bayer Leverkusen Football 04 Limited Liability Company

Fußball-Club Bayern München e. V. – Bavaria Munich Football Club Registered Association

Ballspielverein Borussia 09 e. V. Dortmund – Prussia Dortmund 09 Registered Association Ball Club

Borussia Verein für Leibesübungen 1900 e. V. Mönchengladbach – Prussia Association for Physical Exercise 1900 R.A. Monchengladbach

Eintracht Frankfurt – Onetrack Frankfurt

Sport-Club Freiburg – Freiburg Sport Club

Hertha, Berliner Sport-Club – Hertha Berlin Sport Club

Turn- und Sportgemeinschaft 1899 Hoffenheim – Gymnastics and Sports Community 1899 Hoffenheim

  1. Fußball-Club Köln 01/07 – Cologne First Football Club 01/07

RasenBallsport Leipzig – Lawnball Sport Leipzig

1. Fußball- und Sportverein Mainz 05 – Mainz 05 First Football and Sports Club

Fußballclub Gelsenkirchen-Schalke 04 – Schalke 04 Football Club Gelsenkirchen

Verein für Bewegungsspiele Stuttgart 1893 – Association for Movement Games Stuttgart 1893

  1. Fußballclub Union Berlin – Union Berlin First Football Club

Sportverein Werder Bremen von 1899 – River Peninsula Sports Club Bremen from 1899

Verein für Leibesübungen Wolfsburg – Association for Physical Exercises Wolfsburg

*

Federal League 2

Fußball Club Erzgebirge Aue – Ore Mountains Aue Football Club

Verein für Leibesübungen Bochum 1848 Fußballgemeinschaft – Association for Physical Exercises Bochum 1848 Football Community

Braunschweiger Turn- und Sportverein Eintracht von 1895 – Braunschweig United Gymnastics and Sports Club from 1895

Sportverein Darmstadt 1898 – Darm City Sports Club 1898

Fortuna Düsseldorf – Fortune Dusseldorf

Spielvereinigung Greuther Fürth – Greuth Furth Game Association

Hamburger Sport-Verein – Hamburg Sports Club

Hannoverscher Sportverein von 1896 – Hanover Sports Club from 1896

  1. Fußballclub Heidenheim 1846 – Heidenheim First Football Club 1846

Karlsruher Sport-Club Mühlburg-Phönix – Charles’ Peace Sports Club Millcastle-Phoenix

Kieler Sportvereinigung Holstein von 1900 – Kiel Sports Association Holstein from 1900

1. Fußball-Club Nürnberg Verein für Leibesübungen – Nuremberg First Football Club Association for Physical Exercises

Verein für Leibesübungen von 1899 e.V. Osnabrück – Association for Physical Education from 1899 R.A. Osnabridge

Sport-Club Paderborn 07 e.V. – Paderbourne 07 Sport Club R.A.

Sport- und Schwimmverein Jahn Regensburg – Jahn Regencastle Sport and Swimming Club

Sportverein Sandhausen 1916 – Sandwelling Sports Club 1916

Fußball-Club St Pauli von 1910 – Saint Paul Football Club from 1910

Fußball-Club Würzburger Kickers – Wurzburg Kickers Football Club

*

League 3

Sportgemeinschaft Dynamo Dresden – Dynamo Dresden Sports Community

Meidericher Spielverein 02 e. V. Duisburg – Duisburg Meiderich Game Club 02 R.A

Hallescher Fußball-Club – Halle Football Club

Fußball-Club Ingolstadt 04 – Ingol City 04 Football Club

1. Fußball-Club Kaiserslautern – Emperor’s River First Football Club

Fußballclub Viktoria Köln 1904 – Victoria Cologne 1904 Football Club

Verein für Bewegungsspiele Lübeck – Lovely Association for Movement Games

  1. Fußballclub Magdeburg – Magdeburg First Football Club

Sportverein Waldhof Mannheim – Waldhof Mannheim Sports Club

Sportverein Meppen 1912 – Delta Sports Club 1912

Turn- und Sportverein München von 1860 – Munich Gymnastics and Sports Club from 1860

Türkgücü MünchenTurkish Power Munich

Fußballclub Hansa Rostock – Hansiatic Rostock Football Club

1. Fußball-Club Saarbrücken – Saarbridges First Football Club

Krefelder Fußballclub Uerdingen 05 – Uderdingen Krefeld Football Club 05

Spielvereinigung Unterhaching – Unterhaching Game Association

Sportclub Verl von 1924 – Verl Sport Club from 1924

Sportverein Wehen 1926 Wiesbaden – Sports Club Wehen 1926 Meadowbaths

Fußball-Sport-Verein Zwickau – Zwickau Football Sports Club

***

Italy

A Series

Atalanta Bergamasca Calcio – Atalanta from Bergamo Football

Benevento Calcio – Benevento Football

Cagliara Calcio – Cagliari Football

Football Club Crotone – Crotone Football Club

Associazione Calcio Fiorentina – Florence Football Association

Hellas Verona Football Club – Greek Verona Football Club

Football Club Internazionale Milano – International Milan Football Club

Juventus Football Club – Youth Football Club

Società Sportiva Lazio – Latium Sports Society

Associazione Calcio Milan – Milan Football Association

Società Sportiva Calcio Napoli – Naples Soccer Sports Society

Associazione Sportiva Roma – Rome Sports Association

Unione Calcio Sampdoria – Sampdoria Football Union

Unione Sportiva Sassuolo Calcio – Sassuolo Football Sports Union

Spezia Calcio – Spezia Football

Udinese Calcio – Udine Football

*

B Series

Ascoli Calcio 1898 – Ascoli Football 1898

Brescia Clacio – Brescia Football

Associazione Calcio ChievoVerona – ChievoVerona Football Association

Associazione Sportiva Cittadella – Citadel Sports Association

Cosenza Calcio – Cosenza Football

Unione Sportiva Cremonese – Cremona Sports Union

Frosinone Calcio – Frosinone Football

Unione Sportiva Lecce – Lecce Sports Union

Associazione Calcio Monza – Monza Football Association

Delfino Pescara 1936 – Dolphin Pescara 1936

Associazione Calcio Pisa 1909 – Pisa Football Association 1909

Associazione Calcio Reggiana 1919 – Reggiana Football Association 1919

Unione Sportiva Salernitana 1919 – Salernitana Sports Union 1919

Società Polisportiva Ars et Labor – Multi-Sports Club Art and Work

Venezia Football Club – Venice Football Club

L.R. Vicenza Virtus – Red Wools Vicenza Power

Virtus Entella – Power Entella

*

C Series (selected)

Società Sportiva Arezzo – Arezzo Sports Society

Unione Sportiva Avellino 1912 – Avellino Sports Union 1912

Società Sportiva Calcio Bari – Bari Soccer Sports Society

Calcio Catania – Catania Football

Alma Juventus Fano 1906 – Almo Youth Fano 1906

Calcio Foggia 1920 – Foggia Football 1920

Associazione Sportiva Livorno Calcio – Livorno Football Sports Association

Mantova 1911 Società Sportiva – Mantua 1911 Sports Club

Calcio Padova – Padua Football

Unione Sportiva Pergolettese – Sports Union from Pergoletto

Associazione Calcistica Perugia Calcio – Perugia Football Association Soccer

Piacenza Calcio 1919 – Piacenza Football 1919

Novara Calcio – Novara Football

Società Sportiva Dilettantistica Pro Sesto Calcio – Amateur Sports Society Prosesto Football

Società Sportiva Teramo Calcio – Sports Society Teramo Football

Fußball Club Südtirol – South Tirol Football Club

Virtus Francavilla Calcio – Power Taxfreetown Football

Virtus Verona – Power Verona

***

Netherlands

Honour Division

Amsterdamsche Football Club Ajax – Ajax Amsterdam Football Club

Alkmaar Zaanstreek – Allmarsh Zaan-Distrcit

Alles Door Oefening Den Haag – Everything Through Practice The Hague

Football Club Emmen – Emmen Football Club

Feyenoord Rotterdam – North Fey Rotterdam

Fortuna Sittard – Fortune Sittard

Football Club Groningen – Groningen Football Club

Sportclub Heerenveen – Lordpeat Sport Club

Philips Sport Vereniging – Philips Sports Association

Sparta Rotterdam – Rotterdam Spartans

Football Club Twente – Twenty Football Club

Football Club Utrecht – Uterecht Football Club

Stichting Betaald Voetbal Vitesse – Foundation Paid Football Speed

Venlose Voetbal Vereniging Venlo – Venloese Football Association Venlo

Rooms Katholieke Combinatie Waalwijk – Roman Catholic Combination Wallwich

Willem II Tilburg – William II Tilburg

Prins Hendrik Ende Desespereert Nimmer Combinatie Zwolle – Prince Hendrik And Never Despair Combination Zwolle

*

First Division

Jong Ajax – Young Ajax

Jong AZ – Young AZ

Sportclub Cambuur-Leeuwarden – Cambuur-Leeward Sport Club

Football Club Den Bosch – The Bosch Football Club

Football Club Dordrecht – Dordecht Football Club

Football Club Eindhoven – Eindhoven Football Club

Stichting Betaald Voetbal Excelsior – Foundation Paid Football Excelsior

Vereniging Betaald Voetbal De Graafschap – The County Association of Paid Football

Maatschappelijke Voetbal Vereniging Maastricht – Social Football Association Maastricht

NOAD ADVENDO Combinatie Breda – “Never give up, always persevere” – “Pleasant for its entertainment and useful for its relaxationCombination Breda

Nijmegen Eendracht Combinatie – Nijmegan Unity Combination

Yong PSV – Young PSA

Sportvereniging Roda Juliana Combinatie Kerkrade – Sports Club Roda Juliana Combination Kerkrade

Sportclub Telstar – Telstar Sport Club

Tot Ons Plezier Oss – To Our Pleasure Oss

Jong FC Utrecht – Young Utrecht Football Club

Football Club Volendam – Volendam Football Club

*

Second Division

Amsterdamsche Football Club – Amsterdam Football Club

Voetbalvereniging Altijd Sterker Worden Hendrik-Ido-Ambacht – Always Get Stronger Football Club Hendrik-Ido-Ambacht

De Treffers – The Goalscorers

Gelders Veenendaalse Voetbal Vereniging – Gelders Veenendaal Football Association

Voetbalvereniging IJsselmeervogels – Lake Ijessle Birds Football Assocition

Jong Sparta – Young Spartans

Voetbal Vereniging Katwijk – Katwich Football Association

Koninklijke Haarlemsche Football Club – Royal Harlem Football Club

Kozakken Boys – Cossacks Boys

Voetbalvereniging Noordwijk – Northwich Football Club

Katwijkse Voetbal Vereniging Quick Boys – Quick Boys Katwich Football Association

Rijnsburgse Boys – Rijnsburg Boys

Scheveningse Voetbal Vereniging Scheveningen – Scheveningen Football Association Scheveningen

Sportvereniging Spakenburg – Spakenburg Sports Association

Sportvereniging Tielse Eendracht Combinatie – Sports Assocition Tielse Unity Combination

***

Spain

The League

Deportivo Alavés – Sports Alaves

Club Atlético de Madrid S.A.D. – Athletic Club of Madrid Anonymous Sports Society

Futbol Club Barcelona – Barcelona Football Club

Cádiz Club de Fútbol – Cadiz Football Club

Real Club Celta de Vigo – Royal Club Celtic of Vigo

Sociedad Deportiva Eibar – Eibar Sports Society

Elche Club de Fútbol – Elche Football Club

Getafe Club de Fútbol – Getafe Football Club

Granada Club de Fútbol – Granada Football Club

Sociedad Deportiva Huesca – Sports Society Huesca

Levante Unión Deportiva – Rise Sports Union

Club Atlético Osasuna – Osasuna Athletic Club

Real Betis Balompié – Royal Betis Football

Real Madrid Club de Fútbol – Royal Madrid Football Club

Real Sociedad de Fútbol – Royal Society of Football

Sevilla Fútbol Club – Seville Football Club

Valencia Club de Fútbol – Valencia Football Club

Real Valladolid Club de Fútbol – Royal Valladolid Football Club

Villarreal Club de Fútbol – Royal Village Football Club

*

Second Division

Albacete Balompié – Albacete Football

Agrupación Deportiva Alcorcón – Alcorcon Sports Group

Unión Deportiva Almería – Almeria Sports Union

Fútbol Club Cartagena – Cartagena Football Club

Club Deportivo Castellón – Castellon Sports Club

Reial Club Deportiu Espanyol de Barcelona – Royal Spanish Sports Club of Barcelona

Club de Fútbol Fuenlabrada – Fuenlabrada Football Club

Girona Futbol Club – Girona Football Club

Unión Deportiva Las Palmas – The Palms Sports Union

Club Deportivo Leganés – Leganes Sports Club

Club Deportivo Lugo – Lugo Sports Club

Málaga Club de Fútbol – Malaga Football Club

Real Club Deportivo Mallorca – Royal Sports Club Mallorca

Club Deportivo Mirandés – Miranda Sports Club

Real Oviedo – Royal Oviedo

Rayo Vallecano de Madrid – Lighting Vallecano of Madrid

Sociedad Deportiva Ponferradina – Ponferradina Sports Society

Centre d’Esports Sabadell Futbol Club – Sports Centre Sabadell Football Club

Real Sporting de Gijón – Royal Sporting of Gijon

Club Deportivo Tenerife – Tenerife Sports Club

Unión Deportiva Logroñés – Logrono Sports Union

Real Zaragoza – Royal Zazagoza

*

Second Division B

Real Club Deportivo de La Coruña – Royal Sports Club of The Corunna

Club Recreativo Granada – Granada Recreational Club

Real Unión Club de Irún – Royal Union Club of Irun

Unión Popular de Langreo – Langreo People’s Union

Cultural y Deportiva Leonesa – Cultural and Sports Leon

Centre d´Esports L’Hospitalet – The Hopsital Sports Centre

Real Club Recreativo de Huelva – Royal Recreational Club of Huelva

Sección de Acción Deportiva Club de Fútbol Internacional de Madrid Deportes Sociedad Limitada – Sports Action Section Internacional Football Club of Madrid Sports Limited Company

Club Marino de Luanco – Marine Club of Lucano

Real Murcia Club de Fútbol – Royal Murcia Football Club

Sociedad Cultural Recreativa Peña Deportiva Santa Eulalia – Recreational Cultural Society Pena Sports Saint Eularia

Club Polideportivo Villarrobledo – Multi-Sports Club Villarrobledo

Real Racing Club de Santander – Royal Racing Club of Santander

Real Valladolid Club de Fútbol Promesa – Royal Valladolid Promise Football Club

Club de Fútbol Rayo Majadahonda – Lighting Football Club Majadahonda

Unión Deportiva San Sebastián de los Reyes – Saint Sebastian Sports Union of the Kings

Club Gimnàstic de Tarragona – Gimnastic Club of Tarragona

Universidad Católica de Murcia Club de Fútbol – Catholic University of Murcia Football Club

Unionistas de Salamanca Club de Fútbol – Unionists of Salamanca Football Club

*****

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