POTP is the home of alternative football nostalgia, but in this case we’ve got an alternative European present. Click here for all previous instalments of Politics on the Pitch.
Intro
The year is an alternative 2021. Amid the confusion of the COVID 19 pandemic, the United Kingdom has somehow seized power in all of Europe, ironically bringing the continent together again after Brexit. The first order of business is to do what the British did in Ireland centuries ago and eliminate native languages in the new occupied territories, with strict enforcement across all forms of life.
In football, this means leagues and team names are translated into English as best as possible with immediate effect, including placenames where applicable and/or the dropping of accent symbols. For our breakdown of this dystopian present, we’re focusing on five of the top leagues besides England as they are in 2020/21, plus their second and third tiers.
Overview
While the likes of Athletic Club in Bilboa and Genoa Cricket and Football Club remain unscathed, many of Europe’s biggest clubs are suddenly forced to rebrand mid-season. The reigning French champions are now known as PSJ, with enemies such as Olympic of Marseille and Lyon Olympic. The most common new theme down in Spain is of course “Royal”, with the likes of Royal Madrid FC, Royal Society of Football, and Royal Club Celtic of Vigo. A famous institition in Catalonia becomes BFC, while the Royal Spanish Sports Club of Barcelona is across town.
In the Netherlands, Ajax finally officially become Ajax Amsterdam FC, with their great rivals PSA in Eindhoven, North Fey Rotterdam, and Everything Through Practice The Hague. Another inspirational mouthful is to be found in the third tier with Always Get Stronger Football Club Hendrik-Ido-Ambacht. Italy’s traditionally dominat sides are now known as Youth FC, International Milan and Milan FA, with other famous names replaced by the likes of Florence Football Association and Rome Sports Association.
Germany is home to some of the longest club names in any language, as demonstraed by Prussia Association for Physical Exercise 1900 R.A. Monchengladbach. Another “Prussia” is of course Prussia Dortmund, looking to catch up to the success of Bavaria Munich. Some German clubs even emcompass more than just football, with the likes of Gymnastics and Sports Community 1899 Hoffenheim or Jahn Regencastle Sport and Swimming Club. The same club title can also be interpreted in different ways, as demostarted by Onetrack Frankfurt and Braunschweig United.
We’ll now go through each of these five formerly-independent countries, with their freshly-imposed British Fucked-Up Flags, and list their new leagues and how the names have changed below. Note that for extra titles denoting public limited companies and the like, eg: “e.V” in Germany and “S.A.D” in Spain, we’ve included one or two exmaples where relevant but left most out for brevity.
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France
League One
Angers Sporting Club de l’Ouest – Angers Sporting Club of the West
FC des Girondins de Bordeaux –
Stade Brestois 29 – Brest Stadium 29
Dijon Football Côte d’Or – Dijon Football Golden Coast
Racing Club de Lens – Racing Club from Lens
Lille Olympique Sporting Club – Lille Olympic Sporting Club
Football Club Lorient-Bretagne Sud – Lorient-South Brittany Football Club
Olympique Lyonnais – Lyon Olympic
Olympique de Marseille – Olympic from Marseille
Football Club de Metz – Football Club from Metz
Association Sportive de Monaco Football Club SA – Athletic Association of Monaco Football Club (Anonymous Society)
Football Club de Nantes Atlantique – Nante Atlantic Football Club
Olympique Gymnaste Club Nice Côte d’Azur – Olympic Gymnast Club Nice Blue Coast
Nîmes Olympique – Nimes Olympic
Paris Saint-Germain Football Club – Paris Saint Jermain Football Club
Stade de Reims – Stadium of Reims
Stade Rennais Football Club – Rennes Stadium Football Club
Association Sportive de Saint-Étienne Loire – Sports Association from Saint Etienne Loire
Racing Club de Strasbourg Alsace – Racing Club from Strasbourg Alsace
*
League Two
Athletic Club Ajaccien – Athletic Club Ajeccio
Association de la Jeunesse Auxerroise – Association of the Auxerrese Youth
Stade Malherbe Caen – Malherbe Stadium Caen
La Berrichonne de Châteauroux – The Berry of Gingercastle
Clermont Foot 63 – Keymountain Football 63
Union Sportive du Littoral de Dunkerque – Sports Union of the Dunkirk Coast
Grenoble Foot 38 – Grenoble Football 38
En Avant Guingamp – Forward Guingamp
Le Havre Athletic Club – The Harbour Athletic Club
Association Sportive Nancy-Lorraine – Nancy-Lorraine Sports Association
Chamois Niortais Football Club – Goat-Antelopes Niort Football Club
Espérance Sportive Troyes Aube Champagne – Hope Athletic Troyes-Aube-Champagne
*
National Championship
L’Union Sportive Avranches Mont Saint Michel – The Sports Union Avranches-Mount Saint Michael
Sporting Club Bastiais – Bastia Sporting Club
Union Sportive de Boulogne-sur-Mer Côte d’Opale – Athletic Union of Boulogne-On-Sea Opal Coast
Stade Olympique Choletais – Olympic Stadium Cholet
Union Sportive Concarnoise – Sports Union Concarneau
Union Sportive Créteil-Lusitanos – Creteil-Lusitanos Sports Union
Stade Lavallois Mayenne Football Club – Laval Stadium Mayenne Football Club
Le Mans Football Club – The Mans Football Club
Sporting Club de Lyon – Sporting Club of Lyon
Union Sportive Orléans Loiret Football – Sports Union Orleans Loiret Football
Union Sportive Quevillaise-Rouen Métropole – Quevilly-Rouen Metropolitan Sports Union
Stade Briochin – Briochin Stadium
Football Club de Sète 3 – Sete 3 Football Club
Football Club Villefranche-Beaujolais – Franchisetown-Beautifulhill Football Club
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Germany
Federal League
Deutscher Sportclub Arminia Bielefeld – Arminius Bielefeld German Sports Club
Fußball-Club Augsburg 1907 – Augsburg Football Club 1907
Bayer 04 Leverkusen Fußball Gmbh – Bayer Leverkusen Football 04 Limited Liability Company
Fußball-Club Bayern München e. V. – Bavaria Munich Football Club Registered Association
Ballspielverein Borussia 09 e. V. Dortmund – Prussia Dortmund 09 Registered Association Ball Club
Borussia Verein für Leibesübungen 1900 e. V. Mönchengladbach – Prussia Association for Physical Exercise 1900 R.A. Monchengladbach
Eintracht Frankfurt – Onetrack Frankfurt
Sport-Club Freiburg – Freiburg Sport Club
Hertha, Berliner Sport-Club – Hertha Berlin Sport Club
Turn- und Sportgemeinschaft 1899 Hoffenheim – Gymnastics and Sports Community 1899 Hoffenheim
- Fußball-Club Köln 01/07 – Cologne First Football Club 01/07
RasenBallsport Leipzig – Lawnball Sport Leipzig
1. Fußball- und Sportverein Mainz 05 – Mainz 05 First Football and Sports Club
Fußballclub Gelsenkirchen-Schalke 04 – Schalke 04 Football Club Gelsenkirchen
Verein für Bewegungsspiele Stuttgart 1893 – Association for Movement Games Stuttgart 1893
- Fußballclub Union Berlin – Union Berlin First Football Club
Sportverein Werder Bremen von 1899 – River Peninsula Sports Club Bremen from 1899
Verein für Leibesübungen Wolfsburg – Association for Physical Exercises Wolfsburg
*
Federal League 2
Fußball Club Erzgebirge Aue – Ore Mountains Aue Football Club
Verein für Leibesübungen Bochum 1848 Fußballgemeinschaft – Association for Physical Exercises Bochum 1848 Football Community
Braunschweiger Turn- und Sportverein Eintracht von 1895 – Braunschweig United Gymnastics and Sports Club from 1895
Sportverein Darmstadt 1898 – Darm City Sports Club 1898
Fortuna Düsseldorf – Fortune Dusseldorf
Spielvereinigung Greuther Fürth – Greuth Furth Game Association
Hamburger Sport-Verein – Hamburg Sports Club
Hannoverscher Sportverein von 1896 – Hanover Sports Club from 1896
- Fußballclub Heidenheim 1846 – Heidenheim First Football Club 1846
Karlsruher Sport-Club Mühlburg-Phönix – Charles’ Peace Sports Club Millcastle-Phoenix
Kieler Sportvereinigung Holstein von 1900 – Kiel Sports Association Holstein from 1900
1. Fußball-Club Nürnberg Verein für Leibesübungen – Nuremberg First Football Club Association for Physical Exercises
Verein für Leibesübungen von 1899 e.V. Osnabrück – Association for Physical Education from 1899 R.A. Osnabridge
Sport-Club Paderborn 07 e.V. – Paderbourne 07 Sport Club R.A.
Sport- und Schwimmverein Jahn Regensburg – Jahn Regencastle Sport and Swimming Club
Sportverein Sandhausen 1916 – Sandwelling Sports Club 1916
Fußball-Club St Pauli von 1910 – Saint Paul Football Club from 1910
Fußball-Club Würzburger Kickers – Wurzburg Kickers Football Club
*
League 3
Sportgemeinschaft Dynamo Dresden – Dynamo Dresden Sports Community
Meidericher Spielverein 02 e. V. Duisburg – Duisburg Meiderich Game Club 02 R.A
Hallescher Fußball-Club – Halle Football Club
Fußball-Club Ingolstadt 04 – Ingol City 04 Football Club
1. Fußball-Club Kaiserslautern – Emperor’s River First Football Club
Fußballclub Viktoria Köln 1904 – Victoria Cologne 1904 Football Club
Verein für Bewegungsspiele Lübeck – Lovely Association for Movement Games
- Fußballclub Magdeburg – Magdeburg First Football Club
Sportverein Waldhof Mannheim – Waldhof Mannheim Sports Club
Sportverein Meppen 1912 – Delta Sports Club 1912
Turn- und Sportverein München von 1860 – Munich Gymnastics and Sports Club from 1860
Türkgücü München – Turkish Power Munich
Fußballclub Hansa Rostock – Hansiatic Rostock Football Club
1. Fußball-Club Saarbrücken – Saarbridges First Football Club
Krefelder Fußballclub Uerdingen 05 – Uderdingen Krefeld Football Club 05
Spielvereinigung Unterhaching – Unterhaching Game Association
Sportclub Verl von 1924 – Verl Sport Club from 1924
Sportverein Wehen 1926 Wiesbaden – Sports Club Wehen 1926 Meadowbaths
Fußball-Sport-Verein Zwickau – Zwickau Football Sports Club
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Italy
A Series
Atalanta Bergamasca Calcio – Atalanta from Bergamo Football
Benevento Calcio – Benevento Football
Cagliara Calcio – Cagliari Football
Football Club Crotone – Crotone Football Club
Associazione Calcio Fiorentina – Florence Football Association
Hellas Verona Football Club – Greek Verona Football Club
Football Club Internazionale Milano – International Milan Football Club
Juventus Football Club – Youth Football Club
Società Sportiva Lazio – Latium Sports Society
Associazione Calcio Milan – Milan Football Association
Società Sportiva Calcio Napoli – Naples Soccer Sports Society
Associazione Sportiva Roma – Rome Sports Association
Unione Calcio Sampdoria – Sampdoria Football Union
Unione Sportiva Sassuolo Calcio – Sassuolo Football Sports Union
Spezia Calcio – Spezia Football
Udinese Calcio – Udine Football
*
B Series
Ascoli Calcio 1898 – Ascoli Football 1898
Brescia Clacio – Brescia Football
Associazione Calcio ChievoVerona – ChievoVerona Football Association
Associazione Sportiva Cittadella – Citadel Sports Association
Cosenza Calcio – Cosenza Football
Unione Sportiva Cremonese – Cremona Sports Union
Frosinone Calcio – Frosinone Football
Unione Sportiva Lecce – Lecce Sports Union
Associazione Calcio Monza – Monza Football Association
Delfino Pescara 1936 – Dolphin Pescara 1936
Associazione Calcio Pisa 1909 – Pisa Football Association 1909
Associazione Calcio Reggiana 1919 – Reggiana Football Association 1919
Unione Sportiva Salernitana 1919 – Salernitana Sports Union 1919
Società Polisportiva Ars et Labor – Multi-Sports Club Art and Work
Venezia Football Club – Venice Football Club
L.R. Vicenza Virtus – Red Wools Vicenza Power
Virtus Entella – Power Entella
*
C Series (selected)
Società Sportiva Arezzo – Arezzo Sports Society
Unione Sportiva Avellino 1912 – Avellino Sports Union 1912
Società Sportiva Calcio Bari – Bari Soccer Sports Society
Calcio Catania – Catania Football
Alma Juventus Fano 1906 – Almo Youth Fano 1906
Calcio Foggia 1920 – Foggia Football 1920
Associazione Sportiva Livorno Calcio – Livorno Football Sports Association
Mantova 1911 Società Sportiva – Mantua 1911 Sports Club
Calcio Padova – Padua Football
Unione Sportiva Pergolettese – Sports Union from Pergoletto
Associazione Calcistica Perugia Calcio – Perugia Football Association Soccer
Piacenza Calcio 1919 – Piacenza Football 1919
Novara Calcio – Novara Football
Società Sportiva Dilettantistica Pro Sesto Calcio – Amateur Sports Society Prosesto Football
Società Sportiva Teramo Calcio – Sports Society Teramo Football
Fußball Club Südtirol – South Tirol Football Club
Virtus Francavilla Calcio – Power Taxfreetown Football
Virtus Verona – Power Verona
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Netherlands
Honour Division
Amsterdamsche Football Club Ajax – Ajax Amsterdam Football Club
Alkmaar Zaanstreek – Allmarsh Zaan-Distrcit
Alles Door Oefening Den Haag – Everything Through Practice The Hague
Football Club Emmen – Emmen Football Club
Feyenoord Rotterdam – North Fey Rotterdam
Fortuna Sittard – Fortune Sittard
Football Club Groningen – Groningen Football Club
Sportclub Heerenveen – Lordpeat Sport Club
Philips Sport Vereniging – Philips Sports Association
Sparta Rotterdam – Rotterdam Spartans
Football Club Twente – Twenty Football Club
Football Club Utrecht – Uterecht Football Club
Stichting Betaald Voetbal Vitesse – Foundation Paid Football Speed
Venlose Voetbal Vereniging Venlo – Venloese Football Association Venlo
Rooms Katholieke Combinatie Waalwijk – Roman Catholic Combination Wallwich
Willem II Tilburg – William II Tilburg
Prins Hendrik Ende Desespereert Nimmer Combinatie Zwolle – Prince Hendrik And Never Despair Combination Zwolle
*
First Division
Jong Ajax – Young Ajax
Jong AZ – Young AZ
Sportclub Cambuur-Leeuwarden – Cambuur-Leeward Sport Club
Football Club Den Bosch – The Bosch Football Club
Football Club Dordrecht – Dordecht Football Club
Football Club Eindhoven – Eindhoven Football Club
Stichting Betaald Voetbal Excelsior – Foundation Paid Football Excelsior
Vereniging Betaald Voetbal De Graafschap – The County Association of Paid Football
Maatschappelijke Voetbal Vereniging Maastricht – Social Football Association Maastricht
NOAD ADVENDO Combinatie Breda – “Never give up, always persevere” – “Pleasant for its entertainment and useful for its relaxation” Combination Breda
Nijmegen Eendracht Combinatie – Nijmegan Unity Combination
Yong PSV – Young PSA
Sportvereniging Roda Juliana Combinatie Kerkrade – Sports Club Roda Juliana Combination Kerkrade
Sportclub Telstar – Telstar Sport Club
Tot Ons Plezier Oss – To Our Pleasure Oss
Jong FC Utrecht – Young Utrecht Football Club
Football Club Volendam – Volendam Football Club
*
Second Division
Amsterdamsche Football Club – Amsterdam Football Club
Voetbalvereniging Altijd Sterker Worden Hendrik-Ido-Ambacht – Always Get Stronger Football Club Hendrik-Ido-Ambacht
De Treffers – The Goalscorers
Gelders Veenendaalse Voetbal Vereniging – Gelders Veenendaal Football Association
Voetbalvereniging IJsselmeervogels – Lake Ijessle Birds Football Assocition
Jong Sparta – Young Spartans
Voetbal Vereniging Katwijk – Katwich Football Association
Koninklijke Haarlemsche Football Club – Royal Harlem Football Club
Kozakken Boys – Cossacks Boys
Voetbalvereniging Noordwijk – Northwich Football Club
Katwijkse Voetbal Vereniging Quick Boys – Quick Boys Katwich Football Association
Rijnsburgse Boys – Rijnsburg Boys
Scheveningse Voetbal Vereniging Scheveningen – Scheveningen Football Association Scheveningen
Sportvereniging Spakenburg – Spakenburg Sports Association
Sportvereniging Tielse Eendracht Combinatie – Sports Assocition Tielse Unity Combination
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Spain
The League
Deportivo Alavés – Sports Alaves
Club Atlético de Madrid S.A.D. – Athletic Club of Madrid Anonymous Sports Society
Futbol Club Barcelona – Barcelona Football Club
Cádiz Club de Fútbol – Cadiz Football Club
Real Club Celta de Vigo – Royal Club Celtic of Vigo
Sociedad Deportiva Eibar – Eibar Sports Society
Elche Club de Fútbol – Elche Football Club
Getafe Club de Fútbol – Getafe Football Club
Granada Club de Fútbol – Granada Football Club
Sociedad Deportiva Huesca – Sports Society Huesca
Levante Unión Deportiva – Rise Sports Union
Club Atlético Osasuna – Osasuna Athletic Club
Real Betis Balompié – Royal Betis Football
Real Madrid Club de Fútbol – Royal Madrid Football Club
Real Sociedad de Fútbol – Royal Society of Football
Sevilla Fútbol Club – Seville Football Club
Valencia Club de Fútbol – Valencia Football Club
Real Valladolid Club de Fútbol – Royal Valladolid Football Club
Villarreal Club de Fútbol – Royal Village Football Club
*
Second Division
Albacete Balompié – Albacete Football
Agrupación Deportiva Alcorcón – Alcorcon Sports Group
Unión Deportiva Almería – Almeria Sports Union
Fútbol Club Cartagena – Cartagena Football Club
Club Deportivo Castellón – Castellon Sports Club
Reial Club Deportiu Espanyol de Barcelona – Royal Spanish Sports Club of Barcelona
Club de Fútbol Fuenlabrada – Fuenlabrada Football Club
Girona Futbol Club – Girona Football Club
Unión Deportiva Las Palmas – The Palms Sports Union
Club Deportivo Leganés – Leganes Sports Club
Club Deportivo Lugo – Lugo Sports Club
Málaga Club de Fútbol – Malaga Football Club
Real Club Deportivo Mallorca – Royal Sports Club Mallorca
Club Deportivo Mirandés – Miranda Sports Club
Real Oviedo – Royal Oviedo
Rayo Vallecano de Madrid – Lighting Vallecano of Madrid
Sociedad Deportiva Ponferradina – Ponferradina Sports Society
Centre d’Esports Sabadell Futbol Club – Sports Centre Sabadell Football Club
Real Sporting de Gijón – Royal Sporting of Gijon
Club Deportivo Tenerife – Tenerife Sports Club
Unión Deportiva Logroñés – Logrono Sports Union
Real Zaragoza – Royal Zazagoza
*
Second Division B
Real Club Deportivo de La Coruña – Royal Sports Club of The Corunna
Club Recreativo Granada – Granada Recreational Club
Real Unión Club de Irún – Royal Union Club of Irun
Unión Popular de Langreo – Langreo People’s Union
Cultural y Deportiva Leonesa – Cultural and Sports Leon
Centre d´Esports L’Hospitalet – The Hopsital Sports Centre
Real Club Recreativo de Huelva – Royal Recreational Club of Huelva
Sección de Acción Deportiva Club de Fútbol Internacional de Madrid Deportes Sociedad Limitada – Sports Action Section Internacional Football Club of Madrid Sports Limited Company
Club Marino de Luanco – Marine Club of Lucano
Real Murcia Club de Fútbol – Royal Murcia Football Club
Sociedad Cultural Recreativa Peña Deportiva Santa Eulalia – Recreational Cultural Society Pena Sports Saint Eularia
Club Polideportivo Villarrobledo – Multi-Sports Club Villarrobledo
Real Racing Club de Santander – Royal Racing Club of Santander
Real Valladolid Club de Fútbol Promesa – Royal Valladolid Promise Football Club
Club de Fútbol Rayo Majadahonda – Lighting Football Club Majadahonda
Unión Deportiva San Sebastián de los Reyes – Saint Sebastian Sports Union of the Kings
Club Gimnàstic de Tarragona – Gimnastic Club of Tarragona
Universidad Católica de Murcia Club de Fútbol – Catholic University of Murcia Football Club
Unionistas de Salamanca Club de Fútbol – Unionists of Salamanca Football Club
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