Aesthetically Pleasing Moments From Video Game Football History #9

Last time in APMFVGFH we looked at one of our favourite childhood SNES games here at  Pyro On The Pitch, with the delicious colourful glory of 1994’s FIFA International Soccer. We now rewind the clock 4 years before to 1990 and a NES game that shares a similar place in our hearts.

Yes, here we have Nintendo World Cup for the Nintendo Entertainment System, released in 1990 by the video game developer Technōs Japan Corp. Brilliantly, it is a localisation of “Nekketsu High School Dodgeball Club: Soccer” (or “Hot Blooded High School Dodge Ball Club: Soccer Edition”) released for the Family Computer, which was centered around completing high schools rather than international football teams.

The game opens with the slick screen above, featuring the Nintendo World Cup trophy itself. Like last time, the theme music is again iconic to us who remember it from our youth, but even to fans of video game music in general it is worth a listen through the link at the end of the article.

The team select screen is simply white text over the black background, but of course this is NES so it would be a bit much to expect anything more. Lists of countries are one of our favourite things anyway and there are 13 here to choose from. With the 1990 World Cup a month away when the game was released,  non-qualifiers France, Mexico and of course Japan are included, while eventual quarter-finalists Czechoslovakia, Ireland and Yugoslavia miss out. Despite being two years away from playing an international as a independent state, Russia are also listed rather that USSR:

The game itself is quite a nice chunky affair, with a whole cast of hilarious characters in the players who all appear ready to start boxing. In fact we must come back some day and do a full photo-essay on every player we can find in the game:

The kits are block colours and as you can imagine are far from accurate. Some fit basic familiar formulas such as orange for the Dutch, blue for Italy and a kind of dark yellow for Brazil (see above), but France wear green and Cameroon are in a bold purple affair (see above). The shirts themselves seem to be in fact vests as no sleeves are visible.

Along with a basic radar and count down timer, the boxes at the bottom of the screen helpfully show your team mates communicating with each other:

As you can see above there is a player laying in discomfort on the grass, clearly having been wiped out  in a collision with the bad-ass in the shades clearing the ball. It is appropriate that the players look like they are ready to box, as it is quite a violent game. Eyes regularly bulge disturbingly from heads of victims of crunching challenges, as they fly helplessly into the air:

As far as we remember there is no ref and so no fouls or free kicks. This means that particularly aggressive matches can leave bodies of injured players strewn all about the pitch like a war-zone.

You also may have noticed the ethnic differences of the players, which was quite a step in football game graphics for the team. England – wearing quite a nice navy strip with what actually appears to be red trim – are uniformly white blonde in true Anglo-Saxon fashion:

Another blonde is the woman who appears at half time in nothing but a red bikini. We have no idea what this has to do with football. At the time she probably would have been referred to as a “babe”, but progressively she appears to have ample thighs and hips:

At the end of the match, which as you can see can be won in quite a convincing fashion, your successful squad swaggers smugly across the screen with a couple of them carrying towels (of course if they lose they are dejected). The third player from the right looks furious about something, which considering the scoreline may well have stemmed from a personal slight:

Besides violence, strange reality bending occurrences are also common in the form of super shots. Here one crouching  player uses the power of super position to create two balls from one, as a red haired French opponent climbs on his head:

Doubtlessly black arts were employed to create these unnatural abominations…:

Some of which were basically weapons of mass destruction:

That was scary. But more soothing is that the game is played on a beautifully mowed green pitch. It’s not the only option though, as a selection of surfaces are available:

The concrete option creates the impression of some sort of nightmare world devoid of most matter:

The soil pitch contains a number of rocks, adding to the potential for injury:

Lastly, we come to the ultimate aim of the game: to win the Nintendo World Cup of course. The player must beat every other team in a row, with the standard of opposition gradually increasing. But before each round is the real highlight of Nintendo World Cup in the graphic that is used to represent each location. Famous landmarks include Mount Fuji, the Arc de Triomphe, Big Ben, New York City, the Colosseum, and the landscape of Patagonia for Argentina. Cameroon, meanwhile is represented by a couple of huts on the planes, with a stereotypical wild west and cactus scene apparently being the most apt thing available for Mexico.

In fact here we have each screen, apart from Brazil who were the team being played as:

Great stuff, although we’re slightly confused as to why the font is a different colour for the USA game. Having made it to the final and winning, your team is presented with the Nintendo World Cup trophy by a bald man who looks suspiciously similar to the half-time bikini woman. With the amazing little stadium finally being shown, it is also our fist time seeing fans in the background, which is good to get:

After getting the trophy, everybody smiles in anime fashion as the national flag is hoisted and the “president” claps

Considering the Japanese origins of the game, it is not surprising that there are many features of this game that are reminiscent of anime, and which probably wouldn’t have made it into a western game such as the violence and the woman. We end with one last look at the ground as the sun is setting, the stands now deserted and silent, and a lone ball sits reminding us of the epic journey we have come on:

Youtube link 1
Youtube link 2
Youtube link 3
Youtube link 4

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What Football Is Supposed To Look Like #7: Belgian League Special 1988-1993 (Gallery)

This 7th installment of WFISTLL signals the start of a new phase for both it and our other gallery series, as we will begin to focus on such themes as specific leagues, stadiums, competitions and other aspects. But don’t fear, the original format of a “random” selection of classic scenes shall also continue.
We start this new era with a look at Belgium in the late 80s and early 90s, which it turns out was mostly a lot of riot police, police dogs, fences, pitch invasions, etc…

Scenes From The Gritty Belgian First Division, 1988-1993

Standard De Liege vs RSC Anderlecht, 05/01/1988:

K. Beerschot V.A.C. vs Royal Antwerp FC, 19/03/1988:

Royal Antwerp FC vs RSC Anderlecht, 19/08/1989:

KAA Gent  vs Club Brugge, 11/02/1990:

Club Brugge vs RSC Anderlecht, 1990/1991:

RSC Anderlecht vs Club Brugge, 1990/1991:

KAA Gent vs RSC Anderlecht, 1991:

RFC Liege vs Standard De Liege, 01/03/1991:

RSC Anderlecht vs Racing White Daring Molenbeek, 11/05/1991:

Eendracht Aalst vs KV Mechelen, 1991/1992:

KV Mechelen vs Royal Antwerp FC, 1991/1992:

Standard De Liege vs Club Brugge, 1992/1993:

Standard De Liege vs Royal Antwerp FC, 09/01/1993:

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Sources:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8_KS4UwYPM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QMUEimGtfw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vVs2QRUlBA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjv7DtFJfS8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjgV7g7V3L4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjv7DtFJfS8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTeYBmfTqXo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gH6nBz2DDk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfZciQ5_F5s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RDT06JZXyw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yipbyy_7f9w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyjrW7HgNAo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdCeP9HPf_w

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Heroic Hang Jobs #1 (Gallery)

Welcome to the debut edition of our newest gallery series, where in a spin off of What Football Is Supposed To Look Like (and there may be a slight bit of overlap here or there but that’s ok) we celebrate the increasingly lost art of flag and banner hanging.

In modern stadiums, we regularly see soulless competition branding uniformly adorning any available space (well, “we” don’t), making every ground look the same in many tournaments. Even where this isn’t the case, there is often an uncomfortable slickness to the production and hanging techniques of banners by some big, modern day supporters groups, impressive though they still may be. Here we shall look back to a time when this wasn’t the case, when chaos and home-made were king, and the noun “smattering” was amongst the most apt to describe the banner-hanging glory of the era.

Young Boys Bern vs Den Haag, UEFA Cup, 04/11/1987:

Lithuania vs Ireland, World Cup Qualifier, 10/09/1997:

Poland vs Norway, World Cup Qualifier, 13/10/1993:

Getafe vs Real Avilés, Segunda División B, 08/04/1990:

Anderlecht vs Tottenham Hotspur, UEFA Cup Final, 09/05/1984:

CIS vs Germany, European Championships, 12/06/1992:

Luxembourg vs Greece, World Cup Qualifier, 12/10/1993:

What Football Is Supposed To Look Like #4 (Gallery)

This is the place where we look at stuff that for better or worse, we’ll never see in football again (the answer is worse).

Classic graphics, Italy vs Malta, World Cup Qualifier, 1993:

Malta tifosi, Malta vs Italy, World Cup Qualifier, 1992:

Herd of military personnel nonchalantly watching on as players celebrate, Chile vs Uruguay, Copa America, 1983:

Classic graphics and Hebrew hoardings, Isreal vs Australia, World Cup Qualifier, 1985:

Athleticism stadium, Denmark vs Norway, Friendly, 1992:

Exacerbated, bearded supporter, Netherlands vs Belgium, World Cup Qualifier, 1973:

Muddy pitch and shed end, St. Patrick’s Athletic vs Cork City, League of Ireland, 1987:

Coach smoking pipe in classic Diadora trainers, Italy vs West Germany, Friendly, 1985:

Checkered pitch, Tunisia vs Algeria, World Cup Qualifier, 1985:

“Give Drugs…the boot”, Ireland vs Finland, Friendly, 1990:

Snowy pitch and goal line wall, Glentoran vs Linfield, Irish League, 1995:

Cold War Classic #1 + #2

You now love Pyro On The Pitch as an international institution, but did you know that we also contribute to the wonderful MuseumOfJersey.com?

If you enjoy any combination of interesting retro football kits, beautifully vivid illustrations of said retro football kits (by main man Denis Hurley), a bit of sociopolitical history and classic cold war era match ups (with maybe a bit of trademark Pyro On The Pitch absurdity), then we think you’ll dig the Cold War Classic.

Below are samples of the first two installments, and of course links to the full articles.

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Cold War Classic no. 1 – Hungary v Netherlands, 1986

“The Netherlands would begin their journey to European glory in 1988 with a trip to a rather sombre Nepstadion, Budapest on October 15, 1986.

To avoid a clash of orange with the red of the hosts, the Dutch would wear a classic white/orange/white away strip, the same as they had worn the last time the two sides had met here in May 1985. On that occasion, Hungary had worn their traditional home kit of red shirts, white shorts and green socks and one would assume the same would be applied here…”

Cold War Classic no. 1 – Hungary v Netherlands, 1986

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Cold War Classic no. 2 – Croatia v USA, 1990

“It is well-known now that top level football is essentially meaningless, but there have been times when the game has transcended sport and taken on a higher level of meaning.

As someone who grew up in Ireland, I can say that the Euro ’88 victory over England, for example, which was Ireland’s first game at a major tournament, certainly seems like something more emotional than just a sport being played when considering the historical and political context of the time. Another game like this occurred two years later when Croatia took on the USA in Zagreb on October 17, 1990.”

Cold War Classic no. 2 – Croatia v USA, 1990

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Pyro On The Pitch #1: Bayern Munchen away to PSV Eindhoven, European Cup, 21/03/1990

With the ominous sounds of a police dog barking, supporter horns, and confetti like materials on the pitch (that part’s not so ominous), along with pitch-side fences (back to ominous), great noise for a goal from the Baryen fans and the perfect timing and aim of some pyro, you nearly can’t find a more classic scene for a continental European game of this era.

Bayern fans, located behind and to the left of the goal, throw a flare after their side score the only goal of the game from a freekick with basically the last kick of the match. Working in reverse order to the actual broadcast, a clear view of the launching can be see in the action replay of the goal, displaying excellent form:

Back to “live time” and viewers across Europe were treated to what may have appeared to the untrained eye as a miniature hell fire missile raining down upon the pitch:

The PSV keeper could only put his hands on his hips as if to say “Dear, oh dear!”, but the fine launching of the flare can’t have been lost on him even in this moment of defeat:

Bayern also donned a fab white/blue/red strip:

Youtube link